Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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