You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
