so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize