I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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