the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
