dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize