people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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