when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize