JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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