If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize