How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
did i just pee glitter
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
