never play flip cup with pint glasses
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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