O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
