the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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