Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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