I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I will pee on everything he values.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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