i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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