Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
