As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
