I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
