laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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