So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
