ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I want to make a zoo with you.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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