OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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