Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
