He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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