glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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