ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
only you would photoshop your dick
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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