Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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