Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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