I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
