i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
