i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
