why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
