Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I wanna passion pit in your ass
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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