4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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