i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
