It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
