I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
