i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I think i got beer on your cat.
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