she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
