omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
