My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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