Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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