He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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