mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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