I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
