why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My feet surprised me
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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