Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
