Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
