The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize