Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
