i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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