I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
