do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
