Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
whose ass print is on the piano?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize