dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
