Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
