You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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