I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
